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What if feeling far away from God doesn’t mean something’s wrong?

Sometimes the love, joy, and peace that used to flow naturally in your relationship with God start to feel dry. You may wonder if you’re backsliding, especially when you’ve continued praying, seeking God, and studying scripture.

Dry seasons can bring up old questions, wounds, and half-truths about God’s character. And learning to recognize what’s happening underneath those feelings can help you become more secure in your friendship with Jesus.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to recognize what may be going on underneath the surface in a season of spiritual dryness
• How to uncover assumptions you may be making about God’s heart for you
• Three prayer-journaling steps for working through a dry season
• How to become steadier when your feelings about God start to wobble

If God has felt harder to perceive lately, this episode will help you explore what’s happening and bring those questions honestly into your prayer journal.

Links Mentioned

Get our free Hearing God Starter Kit at: Sophiculture.com/guide

Get personal support in your relationship with Jesus in our membership community at: Sophiculture.com/illumination

Have you ever reached a point when God felt far away even though you felt like you’d stayed close to him?

That’s not always a sign that something has gone wrong in the relationship. Maybe there have been things that used to make you feel close to God but now just leave you feeling dry or empty.

When we hit a dry season, the joy and satisfaction that used to just flow naturally inside stop flowing as much. We might start wondering, “Am I backsliding somehow, or could God actually be drawing me into something deeper?”

When God Feels Far Away Even Though You’ve Stayed Close

My relationship with God was full of ups and downs in junior high and high school. I remember laying in bed, wondering if my beliefs were actually from God or just thoughts in my head.

Was he really there, present with me, aware of what I was thinking? And was he really just as good as other people said he was? Or was his love just an idea that the Christians around me wanted to believe in order to feel better about their lives?

This thought process continued even further. I thought, if God is capable of just talking to me like he just talked to the people in the Bible, why wouldn’t he want to answer these doubts so I don’t have to keep laying in bed wondering?

Why didn’t I feel sure that he was there and that he loved me, if this was really the case?

Your Feelings Don’t Always Paint an Accurate Picture

Now that I’ve seen how other people experience moments like this, I don’t have those questions anymore. I’ve realized that sometimes feelings like frustration or anxiety can make it harder to connect with God and recognize what he’s actually thinking.

They can make us feel like we can’t connect with God like we have in the past.

Have you ever looked back at a moment of anxiety or frustration and realized that you could have prayed through it, even though you didn’t? Maybe you realized that you had had a rush of adrenaline or cortisol that made you feel and believe different than you normally do.

This shows us that our circumstances and emotional chemistry don’t always paint an accurate picture of reality in our minds. Things can be true in our relationships that don’t always feel true in every season.

When we sense God communicating with us, it makes him feel close to us. But the thing is, we get used to these experiences of feeling close to God and then we notice more when he feels far away.

Our Relationship With God Goes Through Stages

Like with human relationships, our relationship with him goes through stages of development. We come to various points where he has opened up parts of our hearts that used to be closed.

We experienced pains and pleasures that had previously been numbed or never existed at all. Although he never feels numb toward us, and always delights in us even when pain comes up, we don’t always perceive that delight.

He may let us feel like there are blocks between him and us during what we call dry seasons. This is illustrated in the Bible in the book The Song of Solomon.

The woman hears the voice of her beloved before she sees him. As he’s coming toward her, he calls her to rise up and come away with him.

In chapter 2 verse 9, she sees him standing behind the wall, looking through the window, and showing himself through the lattice. He’s near enough for her to hear his voice and see that he’s there, even though she doesn’t have a full view of him.

You May Be Noticing What Felt Numb Before

There are times when we start to perceive obstacles that have been there for a long time, making it harder for us to experience that closeness with him. He’s just as close as he always was, but now you’re noticing what felt numb or dry before.

Because now that you’ve grown more mature, you’re used to being connected with him in ways you weren’t before. So you notice the way he reveals himself, the doubtful questions, and the answers that don’t come when you expect them.

What do you do when you notice yourself wobbling back-and-forth like a kid with training wheels on your bike?

When you feel spiritually dry, God may not be emotionally distant. He may be leading you into a greater freedom by bringing an embedded lie about his character into the light, so you can receive his closeness on a deeper and more secure level.

Let me give you three steps to take in your prayer journal so you can feel steady instead of wobbly when this happens.

Step 1: Notice Where the Love, Joy or Peace Seems to Be Dried Up

Notice where the juicy love, joy or peace between you and God seems to be dried up.

Maybe you used to experience these fruit of the Holy Spirit in certain areas of your life and now you feel blank or discouraged instead. Write down what’s happening, whether it’s in your prayers, work, relationships, decisions, or some other ordinary part of your life.

Step 2: Follow That Feeling to What You Might Be Believing

Follow that feeling to the place in your heart where you might be believing something untrue. Write a letter to God in your journal about what’s making you feel this way.

For example, when I was laying in bed wondering why God didn’t answer my doubts, those questions finally started showing up in my daily prayer journal.

You can ask yourself, “What is the situation causing me to assume about God’s heart for me?”

This question gets the false beliefs right out on the table, because God already knows it’s there and it doesn’t bother him for you to express it.

You might uncover something that has felt normal for so long that you didn’t notice how it was affecting you. This is how we uncover what’s been keeping us from receiving the true love, joy, and peace in God’s heart for us.

Step 3: Let Scripture Pierce Through Whatever’s Half-True

Let the words of scripture pierce through whatever’s half-true with the real sword of the Holy Spirit.

Ask God to bring to mind your favorite Bible verses that can pierce through whatever lies you’ve written on your paper. You might become aware of one big core belief at the center of the rotten apple.

Let God’s truth shine his light right into that.

Whether or not it makes you feel closer to him, this experience will steady you so his true, good character feels more trustworthy.

Dryness Doesn’t Mean God Has Moved Away

The truth is that when you’re feeling dry, God is just as close as he always was. The wall and the lattice showing up between you and God don’t mean that God feels any differently about you than he always has.

They help us become aware of those areas where we are hearing his voice and still struggling to see his heart clearly.

The wall could represent things that have become normal to you, like past wounds, old survival patterns, and half-truths about what kind of God he is. The lattice may represent the way these things break up a true view of how he treats us.

This is a normal stage we all go through in the maturity process, kind of like realizing you’re riding a bike with training wheels. Once you notice feelings inside that don’t match the reality of what you know about God, you’re ready to let go of what seemed to keep you steady before.

That happens because you’re learning that you don’t need God to show up the same way every time, in order to trust him.

Growing Can Feel More Stable and Less Exciting

You’re no longer swinging as much back-and-forth between feeling excited about God and feeling dry when the excitement isn’t there. As the truth feels more real more of the time, you don’t need excitement in order to know that he’s close.

Prayer journaling might get easier because now you know how to talk about hard things with God without worrying how it might end up. And you’ll get used to seeing your own situation in the scriptures more naturally, so you know where to go when you feel hungry for his presence.

This is how you know that you’re growing instead of back sliding, even if you feel more stable and less excited about everything in your worship life.

God isn’t waiting for us to get this right before we can feel close to him again.

Don’t Rip Off All the Band-Aids at Once

Before we wrap up, let’s talk a little about what could go wrong as we are noticing the deeper pain and numbness under the surface in our lives.

A lot of times when we take off the Band-Aids in our emotions, we face the things that have been making it hard to function. If we find ourselves in survival mode, it’s usually not a good idea to go ripping off all the Band-Aids at once.

It’s important not to shame ourselves for the ways we have learned to get through the pain. These ways can become sources of strength in the future.

One journal entry may not be enough to show you why something in your life might feel unsafe. It could be because an old wound is being touched, and God knows how to put together all the pieces of that puzzle for you so you can see it clearly.

Or, you might not feel safe because you’re in a real situation where your basic life needs are not being met.

If that’s the case, God can help you slow down and build up the strength with him to get outside support for meeting these needs. It takes a lot of maturity to know how to be vulnerable while using every bit of strength God has already given you.

If you become aware that somebody else is taking advantage of you in any way, use wisdom to reach out for help and safety.

You Don’t Have to Get Back to an Old Version of Your Closeness With God

You may still have a long list of questions, and God will still feel hard to perceive sometimes. You don’t have to get back to an old version of your closeness with him in order to prevent this.

Every stage of your relationship with God is beautiful in a different way.

I’m so glad I don’t wonder how God feels about me when I lay in bed at night anymore. But I still ask him to remind me what he’s thinking about me when I feel insecure.

And I want you to know that Sophiculture Ministries is here to help you take off the training wheels and get stable in your friendship with Jesus.

If you’re in a dry place and want more information about how to navigate this, you can reach us at Sophiculture.com/contact.

Now, Let’s Pray This

Lord, my heart gets wobbly sometimes. I don’t always know how to talk with you about what’s going on in our relationship. Please guide me to know how to face painful experiences that need your attention. Build up my trust in you so that I get used to going to you when things feel shaky. Amen.

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Next Steps:

Get our free Hearing God Starter Kit at: Sophiculture.com/guide

Get personal support in your relationship with Jesus in our membership community at: Sophiculture.com/illumination