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Sometimes we feel out of sync with God because we don’t feel like we’re getting his direction. Someone wrote about spiritual guidance, “I ask him all the time what his plan is. But he still hasn’t told me anything.” We can ask God for his plan over and over, and when the pieces don’t come together, we start wondering whether he’s answering us at all.

There was one point in my life when I was really struggling with this. Instead of going to college, I did two long ministry-related internships. After that, I didn’t know God’s direction for my future ministry, but I needed a way to pay my bills.

As I waited for his direction, I continued doing part-time ministry and part-time side work. I wondered:

• Where would I find a roommate?
• How would I pay my bills?
• How much time should I put into ministry?
• And where should I go to church?

I had to accept that the plans for my future were still being formulated during many of the times when I felt like God was leaving me hanging. I always had a place to live and plenty to eat, even when I wasn’t sure how God was leading me.

Maybe you’ve asked God what he wants to do with your life, your family, your church involvement, or your time. You’re not asking for trivial things. You want to know that he’s involved in making these plans with you.

When God’s Plan Isn’t Clear

We might imagine God’s plan as a golden pathway that exists somewhere in his mind. Because we believe God knows and cares about our future, we may assume he has every choice mapped out. So we ask him to reveal it, and then wait to hear it clearly.

When we don’t, sometimes we interpret the uncertainty as silence or failure. So we keep ending up with the same questions: “What’s your plan?” “What am I supposed to do?” “Why haven’t you told me yet?”

We usually feel this insecurity more at certain turning points in our lives. And the truth is, whether or not we feel like we know God’s plans for us is something that either makes us feel distant from him or intimate with him.

When we receive God’s leading, it can temporarily reassure us that he sees us and knows us. But we soon discover that even when we know we’re being led by God, that alone doesn’t bring a lasting sense of being loved. Unless we’re hearing God’s thoughts about the smaller details of our lives, we often keep feeling insecure about his love.

What’s Happening on a Deeper Level

God shows us his love by planning our lives in partnership with us. “What’s your plan for me, Lord?” sounds like one question, but it’s usually made up of lots of smaller questions: Do you see what’s going on in my situation? Do you notice how this feels to me inside? Can you fix my problems so I feel better about my life?

Life would be smoother if God would just give us the facts, show us the interpretation, and lead us through the implementation as we depend on him. But there’s a deeper, emotionally satisfying level to this partnership. God’s giving us the opportunity to really live life ourselves while he’s living in us.

Whenever God’s plan for you isn’t totally clear yet, here are a few things that might be going on:

1. Your questions about his plan may be coming from a deeper place of wanting to learn how your partnership with him actually works.
2. His side of the plan may already be available, but the pieces of what he’s showing you haven’t all been put together yet in your journal.
3. Important pieces of the plan might still be missing, and you need to have some more experiences in your life before it all starts to make sense.

It may be that what you’re experiencing isn’t unanswered prayer. It’s an answer you’re still working out with God. That’s why checking your side of the relationship, gathering the pieces of the puzzle, and developing the plan together with him in your journal works instead.

Step 1: Check Your Side of the Relationship

Before I work on the planning part, I notice whether or not I feel seen, known, and enjoyed by God. If you’re not sure about this, you can use a journal prompt like this one: “God, how do you feel about me right now?”

Or you can ask, “God, here’s how I feel about you. What do you want me to know about your heart for me?” Then, use the Ask, Write, Test process to write down the thoughts that come to mind and judge whether they’re biblically sound.

If you’re curious about the Ask, Write, Test process, you can get detailed instructions at Sophiculture.com/guide.

Step 2: Gather the Puzzle Pieces

To do this, I think about these larger categories:

• Anything obvious I notice about the situation, even if it’s not what God would want.
• Anything others have recommended or pointed out that may give me some more options, even if I don’t like their ideas.
• Biblical scenes or principles that come to mind when I think about my situation.
• Hangups or barriers that need to be overcome in order to clear the path forward.
• How I feel about the situation right now, what my gut says, and what my heart desires.

Step 3: Develop the Plan With God

Now I use the Ask, Write, Test process with the puzzle pieces I’ve gathered:

1. Ask: I imagine God the Father sitting next to me and ask what he wants me to know about the thoughts and questions in front of me.
2. Write: I write whatever comes to my mind, whether it seems important or not.
3. Test: I test that using my knowledge of the Bible and my common sense. I ask, does this thought sound like what the God of the Bible would say? Where does the Bible show him thinking this way or not thinking this way? 

Sometimes I continue to ponder these thoughts and ideas as I go through the day and even during the night. Having these things written down in my journal is like the springboard that gives me somewhere to return to, once I’ve pondered my options.

It might take several times of writing my conversations with God before I have the confidence that I’m on the right track. And if I find that important pieces of the puzzle are still missing, it might be that I’m just not ready to put a plan in place.

I might see that I need to try out some other options first, or wait longer than I expected to find out what I should do next. When I’m using my prayer journal like this, I can discern whether waiting on the Lord is appropriate for the situation.

I’m really able to own my own decisions while at the same time depending on the Holy Spirit to guide me through the Bible. And, believe it or not, I can even be comfortable making choices that require God to wait for me while I become ready.

The partnership is real, and just like with human relationships, we get to know each other as we try, and try again.

What This Looked Like in My Everyday Life

Let’s think about what this looked like for me back when I had my career crisis that I told you about. I continued serving where God had led me up to that point, while also taking initiative to ask around for opportunities, even when they seemed insufficient.

I did whatever worked and stretched outside my comfort zone. At one point, I even applied for a full-time security guard position, even though it didn’t fit my personality or appearance at all.

I didn’t get that job, but I was able to work for rent and did a side job in a candy-making store. Having several part-time income streams allowed me to continue working in the ministry I loved until it was time to move on.

Don’t Override Your Own Sound Judgment

I want to give you an important caution when it comes to going outside our comfort zones. When an option in front of me doesn’t really seem solid, I don’t just tell myself that God sometimes asks me to do things that don’t make sense.

I set that possibility aside until it becomes a wise choice, and I notice whether other Christians see the wisdom in it or not. Talking things over with my loved ones should help the plan make more sense as things start to come together.

Of course, there are times when others don’t see things the way I do, and I need to just do what’s right for me. But even in those cases, God’s plans usually don’t require me to override my own sound judgment in order to prove my faith.

I see this kind of process in Acts 16:6-10, when Paul and his companions were:

• Trying different routes
• Encountering closed paths
• Adjusting as the direction became more clear
• Reaching a conclusion together about going to Macedonia

How This Partnership Changes the Way You Live

Looking back at my first career crisis, I’m glad I didn’t give in to the pressure to try to go into full-time ministry without God’s leading. I wasn’t sure that was God’s plan, so I stayed busy as a ministry volunteer while working other jobs on the side.

Now I can see that my belief system back then was kind of skewed when it came to the signs-and-wonders mentality. If I’d followed a plan to fundraise and go into full-time ministry, I might have missed out on all the reorientation I needed for solid doctrine.

I’m so glad I partnered with God in this decision instead of sitting around waiting for his revelation, or moving forward without it.

When you see your life planning process as part of an ongoing conversation, the pressure to get just the right plan starts to lift. I love being able to go to my journal and just enjoy God without feeling like I have to get his plans out of him. I can relax and trust that it’s up to him to make his plan accessible to me.

Whenever I don’t know what decision to make, I can ask him for some different options. I know I have the authority from him to try things out without worrying that I’ll miss out on what’s set in stone. His plan comes as I discover what works.

I can trust that God’ll ultimately work things out for my good. He’ll put safeguards in place and allow my mistakes to come together with his purposes for me. Because he likes me to figure things out with him, I’m not waiting for him to control everything. But I’m also not minimizing the values and choices that are important to him.

It almost feels too good when I describe it like that. But really that’s just how a healthy relationship works.

When you’re in this type of friendship with him, you may not know which decision to make when you close your journal, and that’s okay. After you’ve thought about it some more and tried some different options, you can notice what happens and come back when you have more to work with.

What I’ve taught you gives you the basic foundation for larger decision making. You can use this skill to get God’s direction in your everyday choices, which will build your confidence for the bigger decisions.

Just to Recap

If you feel like God’s plan is a hidden script that you might not be able to follow, first, notice whether you’re asking for his plan because you want to be reassured that he sees and enjoys you. Second, gather any puzzle pieces that are coming together in your prayer journal. Third, use the Ask, Write, Test process to develop your plan with God.

If important pieces are still missing, continue experimenting with different options until things start to make sense. If you’re not used to thinking about your decisions as an ongoing conversation, you might feel vulnerable or awkward trying to balance your will with God’s. That’s okay.

Think about it like learning to dance together.

Let’s Pray This

Lord, thanks for creating this partnership where I can follow your desires and my own at the same time. Show me a little more this week about giving and receiving affection from you as I see how you lead me. I really love the feeling of us working together to plan a fun life for me. Amen.

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Next Steps:

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Sophiculture.com/guide

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